Naming Anger: Connecting Spiritually Through Emotional Honesty

Anger can often be a prominent emotion during the holidays, masking deeper feelings of sadness or disappointment. Jazmyn shares her personal journey of recognizing and naming her anger, emphasizing the importance of vulnerability, humility, and community support in achieving emotional healing. 
• Exploring the joys and struggles of the holiday season 
• Understanding anger as a secondary emotion 
• Community validation and its impact on recognizing feelings 
• The dangers of lingering in a space of anger 
• The role of humility in seeking healing 
• The transformative power of naming emotions 
• Finding God through vulnerability and honesty

Transcript

Jazmyn: 0:01

Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Holy Human Honest Podcast. I'm your host, Jazmyn B. Nichols, and thank you so much for spending your time here with me today. You could be anywhere else in the world, but I hope that something that I shared today can bring value to your life. Now listen, you guys, like I, I said, this is the holy human honest podcast, so I am not going to be doing a lot of editing, um, it's just going to be kind of what comes out, what flows out, and I hope that something that I share will be something that resonates with you.

Jazmyn: 0:39

So, as you guys already know, we're coming into the holiday season, the holidays are here and I really do love the holidays. I get the opportunity to spend so much time with my family, I really enjoy time with friends, I enjoy gift giving and I don't know. Just all of the celebration, the lights, everything just makes me so happy. However, I know that sometimes the holidays can be really hard as well. Um, and I myself have been, you know, you know, going through a little bit with the holidays. Um, and, if I can be honest, I shared with my church community a few days ago that I was in therapy and I was sharing with my therapist about something and she was like, Jazmyn, you're angry and I'm like angry and I was talking about a situation and I guess the way I was talking about it, um, she was able to pinpoint anger. Now, me having a background in psychology, I know that anger is a secondary emotion. So if she's telling me, Jazmyn, you're dealing with anger, which when she pointed it out I could see that's what it was, I know that under that has to be sadness. So I went on a little journey throughout that week just really asking myself what's under the anger? First of all, I didn't even realize it was anger. And let me tell you what we get tripped up with, that okay, how the enemy can really trip us up when it comes to anger and we can not even pinpoint it.

Jazmyn: 2:27

It happens when something happens to us or we're going through something and our anger or our frustration feels justified because there are really good reasons to be angry. You know the Bible says be angry but sin not, and it also says be slow to anger. Sometimes we can be super quick to anger and sometimes we can be angry and we can sin. But it's tricky when we go through something and you know we give ourselves that permission to be angry, which is fine again. And then I think it gets even trickier when you know we've gone through something and our community really validates that anger, which you know our community should validate how we're feeling. But I think it can become a little bit of a slippery slope. If I'm honest, and I think that's sort of what I realized I was going through I gave myself so many excuses as to why it was okay for me to sit in this anger for as long as I did. Because, again, it's okay to be angry.

Jazmyn: 3:40

To me, anger is an alarm. It's an alarm that tells me something is wrong. It's not supposed to be my constant habitation. It's not supposed to be my constant go-to, my constant hideaway. Anger is not supposed to be my secret place.

Jazmyn: 4:01

And I think sometimes, when we've gotten so much comfort while we are angry and a lot of times situations in our lives that have led us to be angry are the situations in our lives where we have received the most compassion. Oh, you know, you went through that. That's so hard and I think a lot of times that compassion feels like affection and that affection feels like love and those things are all really good. But I think we can get really, really comfortable in a space that isn't for us. And I realized as I was on this journey I had been feeling not as close to the Lord as I once did. I just I didn't, I didn't and for a long time I thought, well, maybe if I just go back to this place or had a relationship with this person again or did this and did that, and I started to get honest with myself. It's not about going back to a certain place, it's not about being with certain people. It's about breaking down walls in our hearts that keep us away from God, and anger is one of those walls. Hurt is one of those walls. Bitterness is one of those walls.

Jazmyn: 5:39

One of our pastors had been preaching that morning when I shared with our congregation that I'd been dealing with anger. He had been preaching that morning on a hope deferred and how it makes the heart sick. We defer a lot of hope sometimes when we just lavish and relish in anger and self-pity. And again, it's hard when we have been hurt. It is hard to just dust it off sometimes and keep on moving. It's especially hard when we feel like the hurt was just out of nowhere or it was uncalled for.

Jazmyn: 6:16

Maybe you lost a loved one suddenly and this loved one was somebody that gave back, somebody that served, and maybe it felt like they were just gone way too soon. Maybe you were hurt by people that you really, really tried to love, and maybe you weren't perfect, but you were really trying and it just felt like, no matter what you did, it was never enough. Maybe you have tried to be a really really good daughter-in-law or really really good mother-in-law or any type of in-law, but you just become outlaws to one another. Maybe you find yourself longing for a companion, and maybe it's been years and you've been faithful and you've been diligent, you've remained holy unto the Lord, and the holidays may come and go again and you find yourself single. Maybe you're married. Maybe you're married right now and you see the family photos that everybody is posting, but they're what seems like a perfect marriage and perfect children. We all know that nobody's perfect, but it can feel like everybody around you is doing well, with their smiles and sparkling eyes and families that seem so well kept. It can be hard. Maybe you find yourself dealing with some sort of sickness this holiday season again after you've been faithful to God. Lord? Where are you, lord? Where are you?

Jazmyn: 8:16

Recently, I have found that God is on the other side of my surrender. I don't need to get back to a certain place or a certain picture or certain state of being. I have found that the only place I need to get back to is a place of humility. Humility has been my answer, not perfection. Not me praying the anger away, not me praying these things away, but me coming before God and saying, lord, I'm hurting, this hurts and it's caused me to be angry and it has caused me to act out of character. And just when I think that I've gone to you and I've gone under your surgeon's knife, lord, for you to do surgery on me Seems like just when you seal me up, life comes and gouges out the stitches. Humility is going back again and again and again. Not holding on to anger, not trying to look like we have it all together, not holding it all in.

Jazmyn: 9:42

I experienced a breakthrough when I was able to name that I was angry and when I was able to name that I was angry. I was able to name that I was sad and that I was disappointed. I was able to name that I was actually angry about a lot of things and didn't even realize it. And didn't even realize it, I felt angry about certain relationships. I felt angry about lost time, lost loved ones. I felt angry that it feels like I'm always doing something and sometimes it never feels like it is pouring back into my household the way that I would like it to, because God has definitely, definitely poured into my household and I heard the Lord say share that, be honest and be vulnerable. Be honest and be vulnerable, be human, but recognize that you are holy, chosen, set apart for my glory, jasmine. So there's no space for bitterness, grudges, languishing, disappointments Come to me. I found breakthrough and healing in naming all that, sharing it with my community and just letting it go.

Jazmyn: 11:39

I still know that I have to be on top of the work that I have to do and participate in with the Lord when it comes to my heart, but it feels really nice to name it, to share it and to not feel like I have to be so put together in order for God to love me, to use me. He just wants me to come to him in humility saying Abba, dad, look, I ain't got it all together and I'm naming it and I need your help. The Lord is faithful and what is impossible for us in our own strength is absolutely possible for God. Father, I pray right now for us. Lord, I pray for myself and I pray for the listeners. Lord, father, I thank you. I thank you that you love us enough to call out our anger. I thank you that you love us enough to call out our pain. And when we don't even realize we're bleeding, we're hurt and we're still trying to go and serve other people and you're like wait a minute, I want to take care of that and, lord, I loved it.

Jazmyn: 13:25

It is so much more about taking care of our souls, taking care of our spirits and our minds, though our flesh may fail us. Yet we will trust you. You are able. We will praise you. We will walk as holy people, but also human people. That requires us to be honest people. That requires us to be humble people. Letting you in Father. We invite you in Yeshua. We invite you in Father. We invite you in Yeshua. We invite you in Holy Spirit. Lead us, guide us into all truth, show us how to let go of the past, help us to embrace the present and help us to smile as we think about the glorious future. I thank you, lord, for the ways we can see you in all of those places. You are good and we worship you In Yeshua's name, amen. I hope this podcast blessed you today. This podcast bless you today. Please pray for me as I'm on this holy human, honest journey.

Jazmyn: 15:14

Um, I want to be faithful, if I can share, and just be holy, human and honest with y'all. Um, I have a diagnosis for severe ADHD, but I am trusting God. You know, sometimes that makes it a little bit of a challenge for me to keep things organized and to be consistent with the endeavors that I truly desire to focus on and different things that I want to do and different things that I feel called to. Sometimes that's hard and it really does get in the way. But I believe in God and I'm trusting him. So any encouragement, man, it is so greatly appreciated. I really want to love God's people well and use my life and use my gifts to bless his children.

Jazmyn: 16:09

Um, but shoot y'all my self-talk man. Oh my gosh. Sometimes it can just be like it's hard. It gets hard out here. So, um, yeah, any feedback and encouragement is much appreciated. I need it. I think sometimes people look at me and they're like, wow, jasmine does this and Jasmine does that. But you know, I have a journey too. I have things I have to get through too mentally, but I really do want to be obedient. So, again, I hope this blessed you and until next time again. This is the Holy Human, honest podcast with jasmine b nichols. You.